For example,
if you've had a bad day, than later your brain will show you vivid reruns,
over and over
again. It's not enough that you had a bad day; you can ruin the whole evening
...
Most people
don't stop there. How many of you think about unpleasant things that happened
long ago?
It's as
your brain is saying, "Let's do it again! We've got an hour before lunch,
let's think about
something that's
really depressing. Maybe we can get angry about it three years to late."
Have you
heard about "unfinished
business"? It's finished; you just didn't like the way it came out.
I want you to
find out how you can learn to change your own experience, and get some
control over
what happens
in your brain. Most people are prisoners of their own brains. It's as if
they are chained to the last seat of the bus and someone
else is driving. I want you to learn how to drive your own bus. If
you don't
give your brain a little direction, either it will just run randomly on
it's own, or other people
will find
ways to run it for you - and they may not always have your
best interest in mind.
People used to
say, "I can't help it; it's just the way I feel". If somebody says, "I
just felt I had to throw
a hand grenade
into the room," that's not acceptable. But if someone says, "I just can't
accept what you
saying; I have
to yell at you and make you feel bad; it's just the way I feel," people
will accept it.
People say, I
can't do something without realizing what those words mean. "Can't in English
is
"can not" joined
together. When somebody says, "I can't do it," he's saying he "can" - is
able to -
"not do it," which
is always true.
Many people use
their imagination only to discover all the things that would make them
feel bad,
so they can feel
bad about it NOW. Why wait?
Why wait until
your husband goes out and has an affair. Imagine it now; see him out there
having
fun with someone
else. Feel as you're there watching it all. You can make yourself hideously
jealous,
just like that.
How many of you have done that?
Than if you're
still feeling terrible when he comes home, you can yell and scream at him
and drive
him away, so that
it will actually happen. Clients have come in and told me they did this.
I listen to
them and I ask,
"Why don't you make good pictures?" "What do you mean" "Change that picture
until you can
see yourself there with him instead of that other woman. Than step into
the picture
and enjoy all
those good feelings. Then when he gets home, make him want to do it with
you."
Do you like it
better?
Think what your
life would be like if you remembered all your good experiences as dim,
distant,
fuzzy, black and
white snapshots, but recalled all your bad experiences in vividly colorful,
close,
panoramic, 3-D
movies. That's the great way to get depressed and think that life isn't
worth living.
All of us have
good and bad experiences; how we recall them is often what makes difference.
I watched a woman
at the party once. For three hours she had a great time - talking, dancing,
showing off. Just
as she was getting ready to leave, someone spilled coffee all down the
front
of her dress.
As she cleaned up, she said, "Oh, now the whole evening is ruined!" Think
about
that: one bad
moment was enough to ruin three hours of happiness! I wanted to find out
how
she did that,
so I asked her about her dancing earlier. She said she saw herself dancing
with a
coffee-stain on
her dress! She took that coffee-stain and literally stained all her earlier
memories with
it....
Do you want to
know a good way to fall in love? Just associate with all your pleasant
experiences
with someone,
and dissociate from all the unpleasant ones. It works really well. If you
don't think
about unpleasant
experiences at all, you can even use this method to fall in love with someone
who
does lot of things
you don't like. The usual method is to fall in love this way and than get
married.
Once you're married,
you can turn this process around so that you associate with the unpleasant
experiences and
dissociate from the pleasant ones. Now you respond only to the unpleasant
things,
and they wonder
why "they've changed!" They didn't change, your thinking
did.
N: If now you want to know
how to get a bit more control over your mind, click here
